Hillbilly Virginny

Once there was a hillbilly boy who, after getting his G.E.D. (high school equivalency diploma), went to work for his father in the family business of rust collecting. One day he met a hillbilly girl and they hit it off and started dating. They enjoyed each other's company, and both liked the same things, like cow tipping and beater car smashing. Eventually, they decided to marry.

After the ceremony, the boy was really looking forward to the wedding night, and to show how big a deal this marriage was, he took his new bride to an actual, money-paying motel. When they arrived, his wife went into the bathroom to change, while he was getting ready himself. She came out of the bathroom dressed in her sexiest burlap, and the boy grabbed her and tossed her on the bed. "Be gentle with me," she said, "I'm a virgin."

The boy immediately flew into a rage, got dressed, grabbed the girl and threw her into the back of his pickup truck. He screeched to a stop in front of her parents' house, threw her out, and burned rubber outta there. He drove to his dad's house and told him the whole story through eyes filled with tears. His Dad comforted him and said, "You did the right thing, son. Don't feel bad. A virgin??!! Well, if she wasn't good enough for her family, she sure isn't good enough for ours!"