The Last Things Any Man Would Ever Say:

• I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
• While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
• I think hairy butts are really sexy.
• Her tits are just too big.
• Sometimes I just want to be held.
• That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody.
• Sure I'd love to wear a condom.
• We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
• Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
• I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask for directions.

The Last Things Any Woman Would Ever Say:

• Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.
• Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way.
• I think hairy butts are really sexy.
• Hey, get a whiff of that one.
• Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.
• This diamond is way too big!
• I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
• Wow, it really is 14 inches!
• Does this make my butt look too small?
• I'm wrong, you must be right again.